This post is brought to you by a lump in the throat, the one where I am swallowing down what's over and done but I'm a long way from the shiny new.
Yesterday, I was reading in Luke 5:
Now on one of those days, while he was teaching, there were Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting nearby (who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem), and the power of the Lord was with him to heal.18 Just then some men showed up, carrying a paralyzed man on a stretcher. They were trying to bring him in and place him before Jesus.19 But since they found no way to carry him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down on the stretcher through the roof tiles right in front of Jesus.20 When Jesus saw their faith he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” 21 Then the experts in the law and the Pharisees began to think to themselves, “Who is this man who is uttering blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 22 When Jesus perceived their hostile thoughts, he said to them, “Why are you raising objections within yourselves?23 Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Stand up and walk’? 24 But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralyzed man—“I tell you, stand up, take your stretcher and go home.” 25 Immediately he stood up before them, picked up the stretcher he had been lying on, and went home, glorifying God. 26 Then astonishment seized them all, and they glorified God. They were filled with awe, saying, “We have seen incredible things today.”
As I read it, I wonder,
Am I the Pharisee who doesn't know I'm sick, who misses that Jesus was there with the power to heal me?
Am I one of the guys on the roof, clawing at clay and straw, ripping away tiles, all to bring my friend to Jesus, the One I know can heal him?
Or am I the man on the mat with my conspicious need, my greater need hidden from all eyes but His? Do I hear Him speak the Word into that secret place first and feel the release of grace,
my soul flying,
even with my unchanged circumstances?
Then do I see the blessing for me that is the blessing for others,
the outward sign that shouts His authority to do an inward work in me?
Some days I am one, then the other.
some days I am all three all at once.
28. a phone call full of love and grace
29. a small group of believers gathered together
30. first cup of coffee in a dark house (this one might show a lot; it's high on my list of favorite things)
31. Luke's gospel
32. a good pen (pilot G2 07--if you're looking for one, too)
33.a thrift-store chair, soft and large enough for Big Red and I to squeeze in together, or for a teen and I to peruse Pinterest side-by-side
34. the library
35.$1.50 for three paperbacks--which might be less than some of my library fines