Day 27:Your Nearness

DD#2 and I stayed home from church today, 

both of us battling fall sinus headaches that simply won't quit.

Secretly I was glad--because I am battling a heartache that simply won't quit, either.

I need courage--

the courage to be excited about the future.

My best friend and my husband were talking of these things last night, 

and I heard in their voices a growing excitement about what God was doing,

 their turmoil tempered by a secret joy,

 an anticipation of the goodness of God.

With my head on the pillow last night, I thought--

I am not excited for the new. 

 I am grieving the old.

So this morning, DD#2 and I  talked,

 and I probably gave a teen too much information.

In the end, it was a good conversation.

She told me I was brave.

I will do a lot of hard things for my child to see me be brave.

So I will have courage.

The courage to be, one day, excited about the future

 because the future is Jesus.

At the end of things, He's what I want--

and I want the courage to really mean it.

Right now, I want to know He's near--

that His nearness is my good.

Not clever solutions or easy decisions.

His nearness.

Psalm 73:28

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God myrefuge,

That I may tell of all Your works.