When I was in high school, I joked that I owned the world's largest collection of 2nd place ribbons.
(I was the runner-up in the region essay contest four times.)
I lived, it seemed, in the land of Not Quite Enough.
Sometimes it still feels that way.
Lately I've felt like I am almost a blogger. (Hello, is anyone out there?)
Almost a writer. (Which may explain the first one. I am mocked by the blank page.)
Almost a speaker.( I wait for doors to open. And wait. And wait.)
Almost a good mother, wife, teacher. (Pick a day , any day.)
This week I've begun to study 1 John and ventured deep in the word koinonia, fellowship, the communion of shared relationship. According to one of my favorite commentaries:
"Those who have a fellowship one with another, are those who share the same resources, and are bound by the same responsibilities. The idea becomes almost overwhelming when it is thus applied to the relationship which believing souls bear to the Father, and to His Son Jesus Christ. . . . The Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and all believers have all things in common. All the resources of each in the wondrous relationship are at the disposal of the others. Such is the grace of our God, and of His Son." (Morgan)" {emphasis mine}
All the resources of the Trinity shared in relationship. Ponder that.
It goes on to say this:
"This idea of a shared life is essential. This doesn't mean that when Jesus comes into our life He helps us to do better what we did before. We don't add Jesus to our life. We enter into a relationship of a shared life with Jesus. We share our life with Him, and He shares His life with us."
The beautiful blog house of belonging, whose author has the tenderest heart for her Savior, has an Etsy shop with this t-shirt:
At first, I admit, I struggled with it. After all, I am not enough. All insecurities aside, that is true. On my own, my failure runs past the cellular level-body, spirit, soul. Without Christ, I am nothing.
Yet with Him, in koinonia, I am enough because He is more than enough.
My not-enough shares in His more-than-enough, and five loaves and two fish become bread for thousands.
So my prayer is this, no matter what my heart or hormones (or blog) may tell me, that I will rest in and share in, and live in the One Who is Enough.
Be blessed,
Ginger