Thursday, May 27, 2010

Resting Place


I have to start by saying that I don’t know where to start.

I may not say this well.

I’m in that place between public and private, and I am still chewing on this, pondering.

For the second time in six months, I went to bed last night with the word “cancer” hanging over my head.

For the second time in six months, I will go to bed tonight with praises for the word “benign”.

The first time, I had moments of tears and worry, but I can truly say that I knew the “peace that passes understanding”, the absolute assurance that God was working, He was in it, He had purpose for either result.

This time was different.

I knew fear.

Then my husband, my pastor, and a dear friend who has walked this path herself anointed me with oil and prayed for me.

Then I knew nothing.


Which is sort of like peace, but not exactly.

As I have prayed the last few months for the ladies on the retreat weekend, God spoke very little.    I felt we knew few specific things to pray over those women. 

We prayed anyway, and I finally decided that was the point.

“Will you,” God seemed to ask, “ praise Me, worship Me, seek My face, even if I choose  not to let you in on anything I’m doing?”

The last 24 hours, I have walked that question, not for other people, but for myself and my family.

Would I praise Him, worship Him, seek His face, even if He chose not the let me in on what He was doing?

In Ephesians 3, Paul writes a prayer for the church, that we would be strengthened by the power of Christ dwelling in our hearts through faith, and that we would know the wide, high, long, and deep love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.

His love for me goes beyond knowledge of my circumstances, beyond my future, whatever it holds.

Christ, the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, is holy and good, and faithful.

Even if the news had not been good.

I don’t feel any different than I did this morning.  I still feel like God is being quiet.

But in the stillness, I know I am being refined.

These {trials} have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may prove genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

1 Peter 1:7 (NIV)


  1. Ginger, this is one of the strange things about the internet... you feel like you know someone, but you really don't know someone, you know? :)

    I'm ever striving toward the place where I can say "it is well with my soul" about everything and mean it. More often than not, I wring my hands and let fear overcome me.

    Thank you for sharing.

  2. His silence...I read an awesome devotional one time about how He is really actively speaking to new believers who need His constant guidance and reassurance. But to those who are seasoned, He trusts them to walk without His words. Sometimes I really do believe He is quiet to show us that we must walk by faith and not by sight. It is a mature faith.
    But I always, always hate His silence. I want Him speaking to me.
    I am so very glad benign was your word again. Love the verse on the swing. It is my mantra right now.

  3. So glad it's benign :) Enjoy your weekend sweet friend.


  4. God is in charge- we are not - but his way is perfect. (easy for me to say, right now, at least). Glad you are okay.

  5. Beautiful post...I'm so glad we found one another in the blogosphere! Last summer I went through something similar.

    BTW, buy the Nikon! :)

  6. Beautiful. You are such an inspiration. I have learned so much about faithfulness by watching and listening to you. Thank you for your example.

  7. This really gives me something to think about. It's so true that there are those times when God asks us that question. We don't always know what God is up to but I know that's where faith is built.

    Thank you for this wonderful post.

  8. Thank you so much for visiting my blog! As soon as I got your message, I jumped right over to see yours. I began reading and couldn't stop... until I got to this post. Your words were just what I needed to read. Boy, do we feel like God is being silent with us right now!

    I am so glad to hear that your news was good and I look forward to getting to know you better. I can already tell that you will be a huge encouragement to me! ~Kellie

  9. My first time visiting here. What a lovely, inspiring post. Glad your news was good. May you continually feel the love, peace and healing presence of Jesus surrounding and flowing through you with each new day.