Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Less Project: Looking Backward

Merry Belated Christmas to you and yours!  
Meet P. Fitzwilliam Darcy, better known as Fitz.
I hope your season was--and is--bright with the Light of Christ. 
May I confess that I've started and discarded a dozen posts this month.  With my classes on hold until January, this month seemed the perfect time to return to blogging.
Only it wasn't.
This post, however, this post has been in my brain for a while, waiting post-Christmas, end-of-the-year reflection.  
Other bloggers are posting their "best of 2014".
 2014 got the best of me.
My word for the year was "less".
I envisioned clean closets, clutter-free counters, maybe even some minimalist decorating.
And there was some of that.
Like this year's Christmas, with its silver and white and green and pine.
(Having a red-free tree stressed me out for about five minutes, and then I found it soothing, somehow.)
But mostly, this year has felt like, well, less.
I can't even put a super-spiritual spin on my less-ness in 2014 
and say I learned there should be less of me, more of Him;
 truth be told, I've come face-to-face this year with just how much of me is still lurking around, 
and it's not pretty. 
With this year's tiny church plants and half-empty nest,
 its class-from-Hades and its what-was-I-thinking-return-to-college, 
it left me feeling half-empty, too.
There were  lots of good things--I counted 1000 of them!-- 
but with more stress and more questions, 
there was less blogging, less creating...
less focus, less discipline,
  less confidence, less peace, less purpose.
The Lord's been patient with me here, 
and He's talked to me about my dangerous propensity for nostalgia.  
He's given me a word for 2015 that amounts to a holy kick in the pants; 
I'll share it later on.
I think less was the prerequisite course.  
It's time to pack a lighter suitcase for 2015.

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