Days 19-20: I Would Be the One You Find

Did I tell you?

I covered the basement door with chalkboard paint. I've loved all the chalkboard accent walls floating around the web, but lacking a suitable wall in my house, I opted for the door.

It sat, black and blank, for a few months.

Then a song captured my heart, and I wanted to keep the lyrics in front of my face so they stayed in my thinking.

Shane and Shane have a new album called, "Bring Your Nothing".  It's got some heavy theology and some neat music.  My very favorite song from it is "The One You Find", which is one song from the album that you won't find on youtube.

It's based on 2 Chronicles 16:9:

Your eyes are searching the earth

The Groom’s eyes are searching for her

You’re looking for hearts’ eyes 

To see what You’re worth

The treasure of the universe

Find me in this holy thirst

And I will love You

And I will love You

And I will love You

That I would be the one You’d find

Your eyes are burning with fire

The Groom’s eyes they burn with desire

For a lover who’s waiting for the Love of her life 

That I would I would be the one You’d find 

O God Who’s merciful and kind 

Find me here

Find me now

Find me when I can’t find myself

Day 18: Small Good Things

Today was a day of big driving and big, looming decisions.  Because DD#1 and I just.don't.want.to.think.about. college anymore (she had an interview/application today--eek!), I'm just going to think about the small good things that God sprinkled through our day.
Fog clearing into a gorgeous day.
Leaves. On mountains. That's all I have to say.
12 Bones BBQ.  Although truth be told, we voted to just have doubles of the corn pudding or jalepeno grits next and skip the meat.
Lunch and a long conversation with my mom.
A five-minute micro-nap on her bed that she insisted I take--because she's still my mother.
A shoe-shopping score.
A cloud show where God just showed off big time.  I kept asking DD#1 to take pictures on her phone. Mocha-orange frappacino and an Oreo-peanut butter-dark chocolate thingy. Epic.
Hot showers.
PJs.
It was a good day.
Following,
Ginger

Day 17: For the Days When You're Spoiling for a Fight

Fighting to follow,

Ginger

Day 16: Deep Breath

Another computer-napping left me postless yesterday--again.   In an effort to not lose my focus (or my blogging mojo),  I'm offering a deep breath of gratitude.

1.  This sunshine

2.  Clouds 

3.  Turning leaves and cooler temperatures

4.  A chocolate cheesecake sitting in my freezer

5.  Decaf

6.  Friends who've rolled with it through these tumultuous weeks months

7.  Worship music

8.  A new Beth Moore devotional

9.  The book of Mark

10. A day off Friday to drive DD#1 to a college interview

11. Crockpots

12. A word fitly spoken

13. Prayer for the will of God, the glory of God

There, a baker's dozen of blessings; like tea and cookies, they are a pause that refreshes in this midweek.

What's in your "deep breath" this week?

Following,

Ginger

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Day 14: Monday Melody

Teen with huge book project due dibs the computer yesterday, so maybe we should consider this "As many days as possible".  It's the best I can do; roll with it if you will!

I woke up this dark Monday with an old hymn on my heart, one I haven't heard in years.  I used to sing it to my girls as a lullaby, and it came unbidden to my memory as I pray for a week more full of love and joy in Christ than this past one.

There’s within my heart a melody

Jesus whispers sweet and low,

Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,

In all of life’s ebb and flow.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,

Sweetest Name I know,

Fills my every longing,

Keeps me singing as I go.

All my life was wrecked by sin and strife,

Discord filled my heart with pain,

Jesus swept across the broken strings,

Stirred the slumbering chords again.

Feasting on the riches of His grace,

Resting ’neath His sheltering wing,

Always looking on His smiling face,

That is why I shout and sing.

Though sometimes He leads through waters deep,

Trials fall across the way,

Though sometimes the path seems rough and steep,

See His footprints all the way.

Soon He’s coming back to welcome me,

Far beyond the starry sky;

I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown,

I shall reign with Him on high.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,

Sweetest Name I know,

Fills my every longing,

Keeps me singing as I go.

Today I want to feast on the riches of His grace.

Following,

Ginger

Days 11 and 12: Wake-up Call

This week hasn't been steller.  

My attitude hasn't been steller either.

Yet, God has a few ways--very effective ways--of waking me up when I am sucked into the cesspool of the Pity Party.

Like, for example, reading this post not five minutes after telling Him that no comments meant I had no platform and maybe I was a failure at blogging just like lots of other things.

Ouch in a good way.

It's not, of course, that one day He might close down this blog.  He's redirected me quite a few times, some still painful.

If He's God--which He is--

and if He's Lord--which He is--

and if He's full of lovingkindness and mercy--which He is--

then submitting to Him will be 

a) what He deserves

and b) the best thing I've ever done.

It will be for my good.

It will be for His glory,

 which is the whole point of existance, yours and mine, anyway.

I had a pastor once who said, "God's will is what I would want if I had all of the facts."

Amen to that.

So after a week that I've let discouragement lead the way and I've licked my wounds at the expense of people right in front of me who need me to testify to a glorious God they don't know, today I say, Lord, forgive me.

Lord, teach me.

Lord, You have the right to rule and reign in my life and do whatever You please in the people and situations I'm in.

You know best.

Days 8,9,and 10:The Grandest Patience in the Universe

If we get all technical here, it'll be 29 days of following and focusing.  Sorry about that.

Tuesday, after a long season of emotional meetings, I came home lonely and a little hollow.

I opted for decaf and a chapter of Agatha Christie instead of this blog.  True confessions.

Yesterday I wept with a friend.

Midnight rolled around and my eyes were still open, but my heart was all over the place and too frazzled for coherent blogging.

So go the boulders.

In this series of unlovely days, I ran across a quote Monday morning that walked with me and sang as a chorus in my head.

George Matheson wrote

For we through the Spirit by faith wait for the hope of righteousness" (Gal. 5:5, RV).

There are times when things look very dark to me

--so dark that I have to wait even for hope. 

It is bad enough to wait in hope.

 A long-deferred fulfillment carries its own pain, 

but to wait for hope,

 to see no glimmer of a prospect and yet refuse to despair;

 to have nothing but night before the casement and yet to keep the casement open for possible stars; to have a vacant place in my heart and yet to allow that place to be filled by no inferior presence

--that is the grandest patience in the universe. 

It is Job in the tempest; it is Abraham on the road to Moriah; it is Moses in the desert of Midian; it is the Son of man in the Garden of Gethsemane.

There is no patience so hard as that which endures, "as seeing him who is invisible"; it is the waiting for hope.

Thou hast made waiting beautiful; 

Thou has made patience divine. 

Thou hast taught us that the Father's will may be received just because it is His will.

 Thou hast revealed to us that a soul may see nothing but sorrow in the cup and yet may refuse to let it go, convinced that the eye of the Father sees further than its own.

Give me this Divine power of Thine, the power of Gethsemane.

 Give me the power to wait for hope itself, 

to look out from the casement where there are no stars. 

Give me the power, when the very joy that was set before me is gone, 

to stand unconquered amid the night, and say, "To the eye of my Father it is perhaps shining still."

  I shall reach the climax of strength when I have learned to wait for hope. --George Matheson

To wait even for hope, and yet not allow any inferior substitute to walk in the place of the Lord's presence--

Girlfriend, that's focus.

I need me some of that.

I want to offer the vacant place in my heart to Christ alone for the filling.

Meanwhile I ask Him for the grandest patience in the universe.

Following,

Ginger