Day 7: Broken

I learned this song yesterday.  It just about covers things theologically when it comes to who God is and who I am.  

I like that about it.

Now for it to be true in the reality of my life.

"Lord, I just want you.  Even when I forget I said it, remind me of it.

I'm on the record.

I just want you."

Yesterday I heard someone pray that, and I loved it.

I love the rawness, the honesty,

the frailty.

the commitment.

Following,

Ginger

Day 6: How to Follow

Today our sermon was on this principle,

 that I can no more follow Christ in my own strength 

than I could reconcile myself to God in my own righteousness.

Oh, that the Church would understand,

that I would understand,

that I am nothing without Him.

I bring nothing to the table,

I bring nothing for the journey,

but He can and will do it in me 

when I submit to the perfect will 

of the One Who loved me

and gave Himself for me.

Still following,

Ginger

Linking here and here.

Day 5: Following and Followed

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I am having a lousy day.  It didn't start well, and I have been a grumpy brat for several hours now.  

I'm trying to get over it, 

and I don't want to be disingenuous, even in print. 

Though you'd never know that I was a rotten witness for a Jesus follower this morning

 (and more or less every hour since noon, too), 

I would know it, and that would bother me.

Life is hard, so some days following is hard.  

Today it was hard because I let fear rule my thinking, 

and when I am afraid, I get angry.  

Then the anger turned into pure frustration

 and why-can't-people-just-cooperate-with-me, 

and that just morphed into plain old selfishness.  

Some days I don't follow well because I'd rather lead.

That never goes well, just for the record.

Following is a concept we're familiar with in the blogging world, such as it is.

Back in the early days of this little blog,

 I'll admit watching that "follower" number rise was great fun to me,

 and perhaps a bit more important than it should have been.  

Then it stopped going up,

 and the 4 or 5 comments become 1-2 comments, maybe, 

and I've gotten less and less sure of the purpose and direction of this blog.

Writing without an identified audience is weird.

As a writing teacher, I find this to be the worst part of instruction.  

Our required writing prompts have no authentic audience, 

and the kids respond by writing rambling, meaningless papers with no other purpose than a passing (or not) grade.  

Sometimes this blog feels like it has no audience, 

and my posts seem rambling and meaningless to me.

I've been praying about blogging,

 and I know that this 31 day experiment is a trust exercise, 

a place where I'm waiting on the Lord to give me words,

 and in turn, I write to Him, 

my Audience of One.  

That way, if anyone follows me,

 they're headed in the right direction, towards Jesus.  

I want to follow well and lead well, 

regardless of whether there's anyone behind me or not.

Be blessed,

Ginger

Day 4: The Habit of Focus

Experts say it takes 21 days to form a habit.  A few years ago, I finally got into the habit of daily exercise.  Every weekday morning, I was up at 5:00 and walking with Leslie Sansome or silently grumbling at Jillian Michael, or struggling to keep up with super-fit Pilates instructors.  

I developed some muscle.

I was fairly strong for a woman my age, thankyouverymuch.

It worked because I stopped thinking that I'd exercise three days a week.  I made up my mind to exercise every weekday.

Then this spring and summer, things started piling up around here. 

Insomnia raised its ugly head,  and other situations began to keep me up well past my carefully-protected bedtime.  

The bus schedule changed, and I had to be out the door 15 minutes earlier than before.

In exercise land, 15 minutes is tantamount to eternity.

Slowly, my habit has dissolved into hit-or-miss, maybe this morning, maybe tomorrow afternoon, maybe next week.

It's frustrating-

and--truth be told, paralyzing.

Inertia breeds inertia.

Focusing on Jesus follows much the same pattern, doesn't it?

A busy day here, a missed opportunity there.

15 minutes more of sleep, Internet, kitchen cleaning.

Where did the time go?

Bottom line--relationships take time and discipline 

and the word we hate in our clock-and-convenience-driven culture--

commitment.

Sometimes I've been more committed to my exercise schedule than my time with my Father, 

and I lose focus.

My relationship with Christ grows and my focus stays true when

 I stop thinking I'll talk with Him later or read His Word tomorrow.  

It works when I listen to His call to be with Him every day.

Then I can develop some muscle.

In Him, I can be strong.

Be blessed,

Ginger

Day 3: Calling

After reading JD Greear's book Gospel, I've been rereading Matthew.  It's a simple book.  It's a profound book. While I'm no where close to the depths and heights and limits of this gospel, somefew truths leap out at me:

   When Jesus called people, they dropped everything and followed.

    He knew His identity, and He made it clear to others.  He expected them to see what was revealed before them.

   He had no patience with religious people who didn't recognize Him and didn't love God.

   Questioning His authority was a big thing for His enemies.  It still is.

   He leveled with His disciples. He told them the cost of following.
 He told them what to expect as missionaries.  

He told them to expect His death.

   He answered questions with the real question.

   When the weak and brokenhearted called out to Him, 

He answered with compassion.

   He always responded to belief.

    When all is said and done, He'll be revealed in His glory, 

and I will be on my face, 

and I'll hear His voice tell me not to be afraid.  '

   When my head is lifted,

 He'll still be there.

Day 2: A Long Obedience

Her face and hands are crinkled tissue,

 soft, 

paper-thin,

 webbed with lines. 

 Her shoulders are thin and small,

 bird-like,

 and when my arms encircle them,

 I am reminded of my girls when they were younger.   

She has been on my heart for months, 

yet in typical 21st century fashion, 

"busyness" snatched my best intentions. 

 Over Saturday coffee, I make up my mind to visit her.  

I bring her zinnias, 

stand on a precarious kitchen chair to change her lightbulb, 

read to her from Psalms.  

We talk of old photographs and love stories.

She laughs, 

cries, 

prays for a Holy Ghost revival.

She testifies of a long obedience, a persistent following.

Can one be shamed by her neglect and refreshed in her spirit all at once?

It was my favorite Saturday in a long time.

Be blessed,

Ginger

A Theme Song

  To follow a teacher was to become like him.  

I heard someone say once that he wanted to follow after Jesus so closely that his clothes were covered by the dust from Christ's feet.  

Think of it.

Not dirty from sin,

not thick with the grim of the world,

but  marked by nearness,

affected  and visibly changed because of proximity.

To be like Him.

Be blessed,

Ginger